i'm drunk, but that's because it's thursday. this (isn't this?) the point of thursday. we went to BBQ tonite, and i got a "texas sized" big frozen drink callled the Blue Hawaii. what vile excess. and i hate to admit it, but as i ordered, and a good 10 minutes afterward, and a good halfway through the drink actually, i kept thinking about how lethal the drink was. perhaps it was just because we were at bbq, which is by far the most instantaneously lethal eating establishment in the galaxy. perhaps it was because i am old and subtly turning into a person i never wanted to be, but i was really obsessing aver this. i mean, what makes this drink blue?? could it be any natural substance? i have my doubts. in fact, i have the distinct feeling that yellow #5 was involved, not to metion red #5 and, most certainly, high fructose corn syrup. these, in conjunction, make up the evil trio of That Which Will Probably Give Me Cancer. and i have actually been trying not to consume anything that falls into the TWWGMC category (operative word: trying. notice that "suceeding" was not mentioned). basically that means, for me, that i think twice before consuming such substances, then consume them anyway, then lie awake at night imagining tragic scenarios in which it all catches up to me.
anyway, i drank the drink anyway, the entire thing, and now i'm drunk. and this is a relief for a number of reasons: a) being drunk on a thursday is always a relief. b) being drunk on any day of the week is always a relief (oh yes it is. it is! shut it, you puritan.) c) i still have the ability to get drunk off one drink, and that bodes well, in the sense that it means my tolerance cant be that high.
anyway, all this aside, cuz its dumb, its been a long week. in the past few weks, i got to go away to tropical islands and got completely spoiled. sadly, all luxurious things come to an end. and in the end, what is left for us is menial labor. so back to work i went this week. back to my tiny evils at school. they have all grown over 2 feet in the past month, i swear, and they ate me alive this week, what with their answering back and anorexia and misanthropy. one kid even showed up without eyebrows, a mystery im still trying to solve. hence the drink. hence the thursday night rant. hence all the excess.
if you have read this entry and not dropped dead of boredom or loneliness, you are to be comended.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
its april now
i am still alive, sort of. but i haven't been blogging, mainly because i don't blog. so there. but, yet, here i am blogging. so i guess i'll blog. here we go.
i teach a class with 28 little kids in it. they are hideous, but its not as bad as one might expect. yet its much, much worse than one might expect. nonetheless*, there are days (most days) when i don't teach them at all. instead, i spend the entire day scanning the room desperatly, looking for things to do instead of teaching**. since its a small room stuffed to capacity with kids like sardines, when i scan desperately i find kids. there is not much that one can do with kids (they are suprisingly inflexible and unbouyant), so when one is bored and kids are there, one often finds themselves conversing with the kids. which is not such a bad thing. kids have good stuff to say that is different than what adults say. also, they have suprisingly well developed senses of humor. they also love talking about purple aliens and grilled cheese sandwiches, so I get on famously with them. anyway, we were having one of our procrastination conversations. the topic of waking up in the morning came up, and we all agreed that lately, we can't stand waking up in the morning. which led to alvin standing up on a chair, pulling on his cowlick and screaming "its the muuuuuusic. i hate the muuuusic!" after we had pulled him off the chair and calmed him down, he explained himself (a little) more clearly. turns out alvin shares a room with his mom, dad, aunt, and 2 cousins. the younger cousin, a 14 year old girl, shares a bed with alvin. it turns out that she, like every other 14 year old girl, is obsessed with her clock radio, and plays it softly all night. this keeps alvin up at night and makes it difficult for him to wake up in the morning. so this is how his outburst was actully quite relevant.
at this point, dante chimed in. "yeah, like my mommer. her tings all night. i hate it mt. tooker. tee alwayt ting." (dante needs speech services and doesnt get them at our school. the upside is that i think he has invented a new language). it turns out dante also shares his bed with his mother, and his 14 year old male cousin, who "tores and farts". similarly, rafe shares a bed with his sister who he hates. rafe's story was a little sad. his reason for not being able to wake up in the morning is that his mom cries all night and he cant sleep through it. im not sure why she cries; rafe didnt elaborate.
while i was having this procrastination time with my students, on the other side of town my father was spending a day touring public schools with a fringe member of bush's education administration, a la "no child left behind", a la standardized testing for all, a la ivory tower. well, according to my father she is actually very nice, and had a lovely time with all the little kids***. but, he said, "she just didnt understand some things." when prompted, he went on, "well, poverty. i don't think she understands poverty." they had spent some of their day walking through one of the lower income low income neighborhoods in queens. she kept looking around at the houses, saying "well its not so bad here. it cant be so bad. just look at the size of those houses. they're HUGE."
thus, my perfectly illustrated point. thank you ma'am, for that.
*one should never use the words "needless to say", in argumentative writing. for if it is so needless to say, then why have you said it? similarly, the words neverteless and nontheless have absolutely no meaning and are potently absurd.
**god forgive me, but i absolutely despise teaching. the mere thought of relaying (usually useless) information to another human being is just too vulgar for words. that is my excuse.
***yeah, you spend all day with them, bitch.
--see why i dont blog???
i teach a class with 28 little kids in it. they are hideous, but its not as bad as one might expect. yet its much, much worse than one might expect. nonetheless*, there are days (most days) when i don't teach them at all. instead, i spend the entire day scanning the room desperatly, looking for things to do instead of teaching**. since its a small room stuffed to capacity with kids like sardines, when i scan desperately i find kids. there is not much that one can do with kids (they are suprisingly inflexible and unbouyant), so when one is bored and kids are there, one often finds themselves conversing with the kids. which is not such a bad thing. kids have good stuff to say that is different than what adults say. also, they have suprisingly well developed senses of humor. they also love talking about purple aliens and grilled cheese sandwiches, so I get on famously with them. anyway, we were having one of our procrastination conversations. the topic of waking up in the morning came up, and we all agreed that lately, we can't stand waking up in the morning. which led to alvin standing up on a chair, pulling on his cowlick and screaming "its the muuuuuusic. i hate the muuuusic!" after we had pulled him off the chair and calmed him down, he explained himself (a little) more clearly. turns out alvin shares a room with his mom, dad, aunt, and 2 cousins. the younger cousin, a 14 year old girl, shares a bed with alvin. it turns out that she, like every other 14 year old girl, is obsessed with her clock radio, and plays it softly all night. this keeps alvin up at night and makes it difficult for him to wake up in the morning. so this is how his outburst was actully quite relevant.
at this point, dante chimed in. "yeah, like my mommer. her tings all night. i hate it mt. tooker. tee alwayt ting." (dante needs speech services and doesnt get them at our school. the upside is that i think he has invented a new language). it turns out dante also shares his bed with his mother, and his 14 year old male cousin, who "tores and farts". similarly, rafe shares a bed with his sister who he hates. rafe's story was a little sad. his reason for not being able to wake up in the morning is that his mom cries all night and he cant sleep through it. im not sure why she cries; rafe didnt elaborate.
while i was having this procrastination time with my students, on the other side of town my father was spending a day touring public schools with a fringe member of bush's education administration, a la "no child left behind", a la standardized testing for all, a la ivory tower. well, according to my father she is actually very nice, and had a lovely time with all the little kids***. but, he said, "she just didnt understand some things." when prompted, he went on, "well, poverty. i don't think she understands poverty." they had spent some of their day walking through one of the lower income low income neighborhoods in queens. she kept looking around at the houses, saying "well its not so bad here. it cant be so bad. just look at the size of those houses. they're HUGE."
thus, my perfectly illustrated point. thank you ma'am, for that.
*one should never use the words "needless to say", in argumentative writing. for if it is so needless to say, then why have you said it? similarly, the words neverteless and nontheless have absolutely no meaning and are potently absurd.
**god forgive me, but i absolutely despise teaching. the mere thought of relaying (usually useless) information to another human being is just too vulgar for words. that is my excuse.
***yeah, you spend all day with them, bitch.
--see why i dont blog???
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