honey we couldbeinkansas

i only blog when i'm supposed to be sleeping, which says a lot about blogging, i think. i am tired and my shoulders hurt, but i wanted to do this earlier and i just couldn't bring myself to. now i don't want to do this yet i very easily logged onto blogger and started. isnt that just the way of things?

earlier today, it was pointed out to me by a friend that i am "way behind on my blogging". this is true and not true. were i of more consistant constitution, this would be true. i have not blogged in a long time. one must note, however, that i am a rather sporatic blogger (as can be easily seen by reading the rest of the blog). but i've been feeling lately that i should be blogging more, mainly because i have lots to say, which is, coincidentally, the reason why i havent blogged at all.

yes i am drunk. so what? its tuesday - cant a girl have a drinkeen or two? also, the germans are visiting us, here at my parents house - exquisite people who i am somehow related to through my father. they kindly insisted on feeding me bombay sapphire gin and tonics, and i relented. after all, we are sad today, cuz of italy.

i leave for south america day after tomorrow. i don't know what to say about that except that it will be for an indefinate period of time and that lorrie moore says this:
(ok, i packed the damn book and now i can't find it and i will misquote her here)
she says:

it is unacceptable, all the panicked and hopeful missing we are expected to do in life. it is not to be tolerated, not really. [sic]

and she's right, isnt she. so here's what we do: we look forward, north or south, depending on where we are. we don't look back, no final glimpse over our shoulders. we read, write, visit, and live, and we dont miss each other.

not for one second.